I have to tell you about my day - and it includes a dental appointment, an insurance company, and a sex hotline

This blog is meant for food, and I try to keep it on topic; I may mention my personal life, but it's all about gathering around for dinner, especially with working parents, I want to start at least, with a Sunday dinner together - dinner that can be put together with ease, good fresh food and within your budget.

But today, oh my gravy, today was just something else. So I am going to give you the details of my day. It was a new experience for this po-dunk mom in Kentucky.

I've not mentioned this to anyone because I try not to let it define my family; but in November, after almost 10 years with a company, my husband was laid off. It was a shock. We've been through this before, but it was years ago. To put it in perspective, we've been through this in our late 20's; but we've never been through this in our mid 40's. We are blessed but it's been stressful. We've never ever been without insurance. And we have a chronically ill child, so it's extra stressful.

The insurance we had, health, dental & vision insurance was good insurance. We paid our Cobra but it's a difficult process, and the 3rd party benefit company who collects every one's money (ours, the company and the government) only updates once a week. We have a dental emergency, and my husband needs to be seen right away but since it appears our insurance lapsed, we are in a loop of red tape. This morning, I called the benefit company, the insurance company, and one passed me on to the other. I was frustrated, I was almost in tears from"they have to call us" and "no, we don't call them, it's up to them...."

The insurance company (who will remain unnamed, because they are really a great company) has a voice operated system; after four calls to them today, I was pretty well versed in the "customer....eligibility.....dental...." so I quickly dialed the number for the fourth time.

But I didn't get the insurance company.

I dialed one wrong number at the end.

And this po-dunk mom in KY got a sex line. Not just any sex line, a racist, stereotype sex line.

I soon realized saying my script I had been saying all morning, "customer.....eligibility..." would take on a whole new meaning. I passed the phone quickly to my husband who hung up. Upon redial, I saw my mistake so a little worse for wear, I dialed carefully. After getting the information I needed, I felt the need to at least mention the one number difference. So the well meaning, yet awkward conversation went like this:

Insurance Company: Is there anything else we can do for you today?

Po-Dunk-Me: Actually, yes, I just want to mention in case anyone else goes through what I did, do you know if you misdial the last number of your 800 number, you get a very racist, dirty sex line?

IC: Uh..........no.

PDM: No one has ever mentioned that to you?

IC: Uh.....no, no they haven't.

PDM: Well, it's really bad. Terrible, insulting.

IC: So....you like, listened to it?

PDM: Well......yeah, because I was....shocked, confused.

IC: But....you listened to it?

PDM: I......yeah.....didn't mean to.

IC: I see......and it's a.....what? Sex line?

PDM: Oh not JUST a sex line, a horrible stereotypical sex line!

IC: And you know this because you listened to the whole thing?

PDM: Uh.....wait....you don't understand what I've been through this morning. I was taken off guard.....I......didn't understand.

IC: Ok........we.....we will certainly note the account.....

PDM: No, no, don't note my account. I was just warning you!

IC: Yes ma'am, we......understand.

PDM: I was just warning you in case someone else goes through what I did...I mean, it's not like I thought you all diversified or anything and branched out, I just.....misdialed. Really, I misdialed.....I did....

IC: Yes, you mentioned that. We'll note.....we'll......tell someone.

PDM: Okay....you don't have to. Never mind. Forget I mentioned it.

IC: Oh, I don't think.......we won't forget it. Thanks.......for.....uh....have a great day!

I can, with every ounce of conviction, assure you there is a big sign at the insurance company, of me with a big slash through it that says "this woman is a pervert."

What a day. I'm going to go eat a dozen of hot doughnuts from Krispy Kreme and pass out in a sugar coma. It will be the best part of my day. I could lose a limb, and it would make it a better day.